Some things just don’t change

Flipping through the channels two nights ago, I stopped on “The Channel formally known as BET” where they were showing the cover of J. L. King’s book On the Down Low. It was a documentary named “DOWN LOW EXPOSED” which they described as a probing look into the secret world of heterosexual Black Men. I stopped just for a moment to hear some of the comments that where being made by women who were “Victims” of Down Low brothers, the author him self and his ex-wife who exploited…I mean wrote about the issue from her point of view.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I completely agree with J.L.’s thoughts as far as using the book to open up a dialog between Men, Women and the whole world about men who live the other halves of their life in secret and try to ignore their true feelings. With that being said, I do disagree with the way that some people took it. The people that I like to call “Straight and in denial” took it as a confession of guilt of some sort…a look into the deep, dark scourge of homosexual and their disregard for the health and safety of everyone else. “Damn it all as long as I bust a nut.”

I’m not even going to get into all of that foolishness…I just got a couple a comments to make that I’m embarrass to think even need to be said anymore.

Men and Women….Everyone:

• There is nothing wrong with asking your potential mate about the past and SEXUAL HISTORY
• There is nothing wrong with both of you going to take a HIV test…It only takes about a week for the results to come back in. Damn, are your pants that hot?
• Any man that gets angry if you ask him if he’s ever been with another man is not a man…He’s a Boy…and you need to run for the hills.

It’s time for people, Gay and Straight, to begin to take accountability for their own heath. It is not the early 80’s…we can not continue to cast the blame on gay men or anybody anymore. Making sure YOUR safe is the first step to stopping this plague sent out by the government and take out the black…..oh man! My bad…I just had a Boondocks moment.

At the count of three, I’d like everyone to say this with me,”AIDS IS NOT A GAY DISEASE.”

P.E.R.I.O.D.

Holla At Ya Gurl.....

Venus and Mars, Huh…….Right!

I have a friend who just recently jointed our world, that is the Blogger World. After she set up her page and everything I showed her a couple of good pages that I read religiously. One of my favorite pages, which belongs to a gentleman I know whom happens to be gay, was littered with the pictures of gorgeous men. As she scrolled down the page her month must have started to drool cause she asked me if the men there were gay also. I told her that most of them probably were and she replied, “Well, I’m gonna have to find out if some of them are at least Bi cause they are lookin’ good.”

Now girl, you know who you are and I know that you are reading this so don’t get mad about me writing this. But, as I walked back to my desk I thought about something…
Somewhere around my 3rd pride, I told one of my good friends with me, who was straight, to keep me company. The second she left the train station she began to drool too. All those gorgeous gay boys, walking around half dress (if dressed at all) got her heart-a-pumping and she was like, “All these guys are gay?” I laughed and replied, “they at least Bi…or looking for a girl for a threesome with their girlfriend.” She just followed me around and looked but by the end of that day the drooling turned to a look of bitterness.

Which brings me to my thought of the day…Why was she so bitter and speechless? Is it because deep down straight women carry the same stereotypical thoughts thought to belong to a man which is that they can have any man they want or that everyman wants them or maybe even that gay men just need the right piece of p@ssy to turn them. Now I know that every woman doesn’t think that way but let me know what you think or Ladies, tell me, how did you feel during your first experience like that?

Irreconcilable Differences

Good Day Guys. I was reading LuvinMe’s Blog yesterday and it made me think of an issue I’m having with a one time best friend turned acquaintance. Can you guys out there in Blog World help me decide what to do?

Now the only way for ya’ll to understand the whole story is to read the whole story…so bare with me, now…

I know that it's kind of long but please hear me out and tell me what you think. Print it and read it on the train if you have to.


I know it might be hard to believe, but back in grade school I was what some would consider an outcast. I was a tom-boy with huge calves and bucked teeth and the kids would make fun of my from time to time. I mean, even the resident gay boy would try to pick on me. I’m not exactly sure why…maybe it was because I was better at sports than most of the girls so I was picked before them…or maybe it was because I had a whole bunch of big, thick hair and they was just hating…how about the fact that I was one of the best singers in the choir and was given most of the solos…or it could just be because I was a loner and did really mix into the usual crowd. I was little young lesbian who didn’t understand it yet but for some reason I just wasn’t into the thing that all the other girls were into. The only time I played with my Barbie’s is when my GI Joe’s needed a date.

So, While most of the girls were of jumping Double-Dutch or talking about how cute the bass singer in Shai was I was off to the side doing what I loved to do, writing or drawing. It wasn’t until one of my teachers decided to organize this talk session after school that I met Nettie(purposes of this blog I’m changed her name(a la “Color Purple”)). Well she was attending the school for at least 6 months before but was just started talking when we would take the bus home after the talk group. It so happen that she also took the same bus home that I did. We became cooler as the school year went on and sooner or later we just became best friends. She understood me and didn’t judge my crazy way of thinking. In fact she thought I was hilarious. In return I listened to all of her problems and gave the best advise that I could to help. She had a difficult home life and most times I was the only person she had to talk to.

Well after junior high, we went to different high schools. She went to a catholic high school because that’s what her Grandmother wanted and I went to Clara Barton because that’s what I wanted(Clara Barton is a once all girl H.S. in Brooklyn with a ratio of 15:1 Female majority. I didn’t know that I was gay yet but I knew it was the place for me). We made new friends but still were close and spoke ever night on the phone. Then, a year later, in the summer of 95’, I moved to the Pocono’s. Some would have thought that that would have done our friendship in but it didn’t. The phone bills were off the hook but we still stayed close all the while gaining new friends.

And we were like that for years; experiencing things apart but sharing them together. I was here when she got pregnant(the first time) and had to have an abortion…she was there when I come out to her and another friend when I was 18. I was there when she caught the ,at that time, love of her life cheating; She was there when I found my first love and lost my virginity. But it wasn’t until around 5 years ago when I came back to Brooklyn for the summer that things started to change between us. I had a job that summer and I guess she was going through some rough times cause she kept asking me for money. And, if I went and hung out with another one of my friends she would try and make me feel guilty about it. Then, one time that has always stuck with me is when we went out to Junior’s to eat and she told me that always wished that I was a man so she could have married me.

I thought about that for a while…we would tell each other “I love you”…which was more like she would say it and I would say “No Doubt” or “Ditto”…she knew what I meant but I always figured it was solely platonic. In retrospect, I didn’t notice how happy she was when I broke up with my Ex; maybe because I was happy too. I was still hanging out with my other friends though and one night she called me saying that I don’t realize how I was hurting her. She said that ever since I found new friends I don’t have time for her anymore and I don’t even call as much as I use to. Now at the time I must have been down to calling once a week but she acted as though I just disappeared off the face of the earth. The truth is I didn’t call because every time I did she wanted money or a ride some where…and I didn’t answer her calls either. She sounded very shaken up; crying and the whole nine, but I hold her that just because I don’t call you everyday doesn’t mean that I am any less of a friend…I don’t even call my parents that often.

We never saw eye to eye on the issue so I just left it alone and acted as though the conversation didn’t happen. Anyway, about one summers later, I was back in NY sending the summer with the girlfriend I’m with now and doing laundry when she calls. I answer like, “What’s Good!”, and she’s crying on the other end again. The conversation kind of went like this:

“What’s Good!”
(Sob) “I haven’t heard from you in a while”
“Well, I been good. You know working, chillin…”
“Well actually I don’t know.”
I kinda figured out what she meant by that so I said, “Right, well my bad. You how I get caught up in work and stuff”
“But you can at least call. Call me and let me know that your ok. I haven’t heard from you in weeks”(mind you she is still crying)
“Ahh, come on we had this talk already. I haven’t called you in what 2 weeks…So, that means I not your friend anymore…what are we 5?”
“No, but the least you can do is call and let people know that your okay.”
“Okay, well I’ll try to call more but I can’t guarantee a regular scheduled call cause…”
“You one thing I realized? When ever you get a girl in your life you forget about your friends.”
“That’s bull cause 3 weeks ago I was hanging over by your house till what 3 in the morning? And I spoke to Sookie (a friend of ours) like last week”
“Well maybe you just forget about me.”
“Ohhhhh, Nettie stop this sh@t. You wilding out”
“So, if you speak to Sookie why don’t you speak to me?”
“For real; you want to know the truth? Because most the time when I do call or you call you need some money or a ride”
(A Slight Pause) “I can’t believe…so what you think I’m using you. You know what you mean to…You don’t know how hurt I am that you said that. We been friend for so long and that’s what you think. That hurts so bad.”
“Well that’s how a feel. And I don’t feel like friend should be subject to that”

She went on for a couple more seconds then hung up the phone. When I told my girl about the conversation that just occurred she said exactly what I was thinking, “She sounds like a jealous girl friend.” After I swore to my girl that I never slept with her I basically didn’t speak to Nettie for about 4 months.

We speak on and off now and I even been back to her spot. and she apologies for her action where she said, “I just missed what we had.” I accepted her apologies but still fell weird. I mean she was gone to be the God Mother of my kids ya’ll but now I have to be in a great mood to even answer the phone.

Do you think I’m over analyzing thinking that she’s secretly in love with me or am I just “Bugging.”? Should I start calling her more often or keep my distance? (Keep into consideration that it’s been another 2 years since then and we’ve grown even further apart…the things that she’s into I no longer find my self wanting to do. Plus I got a wife at home who don’t play that.) What should I do?

Three 6 Who?

That is what members of the academy must have been saying when the rappers came on stage, preformed and then promptly accepted the award for the signature song of this years highly acclaimed movie, Hustle & Flow. The Memphis natives wrote the song for the John Singleton movie but it was preformed by Terrence Howard on the sound track and in the film. I’m sure that they were surprised that they were even nominated much less chosen to win the award for best original song placing them in to legendary company along side Quincy Jones, Isaac Hayes and….Eminem? Well, I just want to congratulate the three Gentlemen in there win….It is an achievement that can never be taken away.
Aaaahhhhhh…..see? Now that wasn’t that bad. I didn’t black out or any…any…uh oh, I feel a Boondocks moment coming on….
What was really good with T. Howard though? They asked his ass to perform the song for the ceremony and he declined…bougie bastard. Talking dout, “It took me a while to get in the that role and I wouldn’t do it any justice.” What you meant to say was, “I ain’t doing none of that Coon music. It’s bad enough I got to act like ya’ll Jigga-Boos just the make a living…I’ll tell you this much it’s hard out here for a light skinned man.” In this world that where “dysfunction” wins awards it’s sad that an actor has to “act” even when they are not getting paid to. I swear, I know white men who don’t sound as white as Terrence but I can understand that he was probably like, “What ya’ll trying to do ruin me? I got kids to feed,” when they asked him to do the song.
Finally, I just wanted to add that I feel they looked great arriving to the Oscars. They looked like someone at least dragged they asses to church one morning and showed them how you supposed to dress.

Baby O……I’ll Holla.