How many of us have them……Friends!

Do you ever get tired of being the nice one? Of being the strong one? Of being the one that everyone turns to as soon as they have an emotional problem? The one that they need to speak to set everything straight in there mind and in their life…No? Well I do; especially when I get nothing in return in the friendship.

It’s funny how every once in a while I begin to realize that I need to start taking my own advice when it comes to friends. I have 3 simple rules when it comes to friends: 1. You can not dump your bad energy on me if I can not dump mine on you. 2. I can call you with good news and you should be able to be sincerely happy for me…Not just sound like it or revert back to talking about your streak of bad luck. 3. If I can come to your house and chill you can come to mine.

Those are my 3 laws. And there are little sub-laws that go with them but they are the basics. I developed them right around the time when the good friend I wrote about before and I had that big falling out. I began to realize that I wasn’t getting to return that I felt that I deserved from the investment that I made in my friends. Because that’s what it is…an investment.

Every time you pick up the phone at 1 in the morning and it’s your friend crying their eyes out and you stay on the line with them until they calm down and feel better you are investing in them with the hope that they will do the same for you one day, whether or not that day will ever come. Sooner or later you start to realize if said investment will ever pay off. I guess that’s kind of what I’m going though now…evaluating the relationships in my life.

I have a girlfriend that I love very dearly and whom would be married to if people could take their head out of their ass. We’ll reach 4 years together in a month and a half and we support each other through everything. She is my best friend but some times you don’t want to talk about everything with your significant other so no matter what people say friends are important.

So, in my life I have 3 people that I would refer to as close friends and one of them gave me a little reality check while she once again went through problems with her girlfriend. As usual she spoke to me about it, even “f”ed up my high Friday night as she cried and asked why I thought the girl phone was off. She was just being dramatic looking for someone to listen to her while everyone else was out side chillin’. Being the good friend that I was I spoke to her but after the third call I started to be short with her to get her off the damn phone. I began to realize that it wasn’t fair that she monopolized my time like this and then it hit me. She would do the same for me if I was going through it.

If it was 10 P.M. and I called her about some problems I was having she would be like, “Dog, I wish I could help you but I can’t even fix my own. But Yo, I got work in the morning, so…call me tomorrow and let me know what happens.” Not that I would ever go to her with problems like that but I feel that if you’re gonna a friend then I should be able to. It’s like I just realized how self absorbed she can be and I remembered why I don’t refer to everyone as friends.

I spoke to one of my remaining close friends and a co-worker about it yesterday and they both said that I expected too much from them even if they were friends. This is definitely true. I am a very good friend and can be selfless at times and I disappoint myself by thinking that being that way for people means that they will do it for me. So…...it’s time to do some spring cleaning ya’ll. I’m not gonna cut her off but I’m definitely not gonna over extend myself like I use to. From now on, unless it’s a genuine emergency, I’m not going out of my why like I usually do unless it’s family or my woman. True friends will understand and I won’t even need to explain.